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Hi, MC Solaris here, author of Calypso’s Heart, Orion’s Order book 1. And here I am in video number 2 in the About The Author Reading video series.
And I am again doubly terrified to record today’s video. Not only because duh I’m once more facing my fears of being in front of a camera but also today, I felt like sharing that my birthday is on Monday August 31st. And it’s my golden birthday! Woohoo! And you know, I’m only mildly freaking out that I’m turning 31. NBD, right?
So, as I was writing about what I wanted to share today, it kind of got a little deep and personal. But hey, what else is social media for if not to air out some of your deepest and darkest personal thoughts? Right? Right.
Okay, well, I’m not actually going to go into the dark abyss of emo thoughts… But I am going to share some thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind considering it’s been another solar rotation in my astrological birth chart. Shout out to my fellow virgos out there.
And maybe you’ll relate to today’s video. Or maybe you once felt as I do now… Or maybe you’ll find out that I’m a little crazy and you’ll stop following me.
But, here it is….
What the hell am I doing with my life?
Yup. That’s the big ol’ question going on in my mind lately. I’m about to be 31. I didn’t finish those last five or six college classes that would have earned me my bachelor’s degree.
I’m not married. I don’t have any kids. I’ve been working in the same industry since I was 18. And no, my job doesn’t really align with my soul but don’t get me wrong, I am super grateful for it because it supports me and allows me to feed my addiction with ridiculously expensive organic foods and treats as well as allows me to continue to spoil my three kitty fur babies endlessly.
Okay, so when I find my thoughts drifting that dangerous vortex of self-doubt, self-worthiness, self-limiting beliefs, and a bunch of things that essentially all tie back to fear, I try to stop that train in its tracks and flip the script.
So, instead, I’ll answer that scary as hell question head on. What am I doing with my life?
Well, I’m enjoying myself. I’m enjoying myself as I’m writing these stories. I’m enjoying myself as I go on my beloved beach walks. I’m enjoying myself as I spend time with my ride or die boo thang and our three kitty fur babies. And, yes, I’m enjoying myself when I overeat all of those super yummy, organic foods.
And then I’ll just start listing all the things that I’m grateful for. All of them. From the small things, like being grateful for this morning chocolate drink situation I’ve been obsessing over lately. To the big things, like being grateful for the health of myself and my loved ones.
And then at some point in this epic gratitude list reminder, I usually end up thinking about this Rumi quote.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
I love love love that quote so much for many reasons, but especially because it reminds me that sometimes I can have these plans and goals, but to me, what’s really underneath those, are feelings… like excitement. Happiness. Love. Joy. Peace.
So, even if I have no idea quote on quote “what the hell I’m doing with my life” on some level, I’ll know I’m on the right path when I’m following Rumi’s sage advice by allowing myself to be drawn by that strange and sometimes inexplicable pull of the things that bring me love, joy, and peace.
Even if it’s not what I thought it was going to be or how it was going to look or not even something that was on my radar. It doesn’t matter. Because what does matter is that feeling inside—that feeling of love, joy, and peace. And those things that help bring those feelings.
Okay, so, I did warn you this was going to go a little deep and a little personal. But I wanted to share it in the chance that someone else may be feeling the same as me and maybe finding themselves tiptoeing down that vortex of negative thoughts. And if that’s the case, perhaps maybe that epic gratitude list and that seriously amazing quote from Rumi will help you as it does me.
And to that point, when I set out on this About The Author video series journey, I thought the videos would be about… oh, I don’t know… things about my books or author life. But hey, I’m listening to that strange pull inside of me and for whatever reason, it wanted me to share about this today.
Okay, so that’s it for today’s video AKA my diary entry apparently. And I want to ask you, what the hell are you doing with your life? I’m kidding.
But really, I would love to hear what you think about this video, about that Rumi quote, if you’d like more of these About The Author Reading videos. And if you have any particular questions or topics.
Okay, I can’t wait to chat with you! :)
M.C. Solaris
❤️Author of massively epic love stories
🧜♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes
✨Healing thru storytelling
✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order
https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor