About The Author Reading - How I Get Out Of A Funk

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I've been in a weird funk lately (a la 2020, writing roller coaster, and good ol' mercury retrograde because no can't forget about Merc ;) ).

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Some things like: 

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Self-doubt.

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Self-criticism.

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Self-limiting beliefs.

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...and many more have been on my shoulder whispering lies in my ear. Sometimes I can brush them off and carry forth like no big deal. Sometimes though... those insidious effers get their fangs in me and put up a strong fight.

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Yesterday, the narrator and I found out there's been another unexpected delay with the editing/production phase of the audiobook. At this point, I am not certain if the audiobook will be live on 10/31.

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PS: 10/31 is Halloween AKA Samhain and a blue moon/full moon AKA.... ummm WTH was I thinking when I thought that'd be a good day to publish??? The answer: I wasn't. I wasn't thinking at all. LOL.

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Anyyyywho, so I've been in this weird funk and then I got the news about the additional delay with the audiobook production... and I literally sat down at my computer intending to write some some more of book 4 and literally didn't write anything because it was as if the characters knew I just needed a time out... And you know what I did?.

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Leaned into the chaos.

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Yup. 

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I leaned into that mother effing roller coaster ride. I went to the beach. Witnessed the end of an epic sunset. Walked on the beach with my toes in the sand and my lungs filled with that sea salt air. And then a song popped into my head. "My Fault" by Imagine Dragons. It was the beginning of the song that says, "I took a walk on a Saturday night, Fog in the air, Just to make my mind seem clear. Where do I go from here?".

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So, I immediately whipped up my Spotify and began listening to that song which then turned into me putting on my high vibes only playlist (AKA "Marina Manifesting Mindset"). And then you know what I did?.

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Danced!.

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Yup. I totally danced on the beach by myself at night in the half-moon light like a straight up crazy person on drugs at a rave.

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There weren't a ton of people there but there were still some Friday night beach moonlight stragglers. And at first, I felt that feeling of "I need to tone it down and not go full out" (basically dim my light) because of the peanut gallery. But after a few songs in, I decided, eff it! and I just started dancing and not giving a flying fig if people were watching or judging or criticizing or whatever. I danced and twirled and skipped and jumped and spun and stumbled and laughed and cried and ran through the ocean water after dark. 

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It was freaking amazing. Liberating. Epic. And incredibly healing.

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Afterward, I realized two things:.

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First, the symbolism. The symbolism of the fear of judgement, criticism, etc. from others (hello, to how vulnerable publishing Calypso's Heart feels). The symbolism of those whispers that have been dimming my light lately. Last night while I was full on crazy beach moonlight dancer, I feel as if I had some epic breakthrough, cutting through the chaos and getting back in touch with my core and my true north.

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And the other thing I realized was how I've lost touch with one of my go-to rituals to get myself out of a funk: epic playlists and dancing at the beach! (Because, you guessed it, that was not the first time I've done the crazy dancing at the beach thing and surely won't be my last). But I've been so caught up in the chaos and everything that I fell out of touch with a practice that is so healing and honestly kinda crucial to my mental, emotional, spiritual mindset.

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Okay, so that's my Friday night story. And to sum it up, dance like you don't give a fig if people are watching or not.

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****And now, I'm curious, do you have a go-to ritual or practice that helps you get out of a funk?****.

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I'd love to hear about it in the comments!.

M.C. Solaris

❤️Author of massively epic love stories

🧜‍♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes

✨Healing thru storytelling

✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order

https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor

About The Author Reading - The Emotional Writing Roller Coaster

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Hi! MC Solaris here, paranormal romance author of Calypso’s Heart. 

So, in case you don’t know this about me yet, I try and keep it real in all things that I do. And this means me being an open book. (Yeah, I just had to slip in that book pun because duh). Soooo in the spirit of being an open book, I felt called to open up a part of me and share something that feels a bit vulnerable.

Okay, so here it is: Today is one of those days as an author where I’m basically feeling like allllllll the right side of this Tangled meme.

So far, as I write each book, I’ve noticed I experience this crazy emotional writing roller coaster where I basically cycle through this mem many, many times. And oftentimes, I find myself on the right side of the photo during the early stages of writing a new book where it’s a bunch of chaotic scenes and pieces in my head that looks like one of those thousand piece puzzles all spread out over the table. I know all of those pieces fit perfectly together to make up this complete puzzle of some pretty and well thought picture. But at the moment, it’s a thousand pieces of a daunting (and exciting) journey.

And when I find myself on the right side of this photo, those negative thoughts of fear and doubt whisper to me that “I suck” and “I’m not a writer” and “I’m not doing the story or characters justice” and that “I’m effing this up.” And that I should basically quit and let the “real” writers write books.

And I’ve also noticed another layer as I write each book too—the pressure! The pressure to make sure the book is as good or better as the last one. The pressure to make sure to do the story and the characters justice. And again, the pressure to not eff this up to the point where I get angry mail from readers saying how I ruined the story and the characters.

It’s actually kind of paralyzing.

And it’s strange because whenever I used to hear the term “writer's block” I used to think it was because the story dried up. But I think I’m starting to realize the deeper nuances to that term and how the “writers block” that I experience is not because the story dries up—because I can assure you the story is very much there, waiting for me. But rather, it’s because of that pesky combination of fear and doubt. (Again, cue self-limiting thoughts I previously mentioned.)

So, as I’m writing book 4, I feel like the characters and the story are more complex, which to me also means the higher the stakes and the higher the chances there are that again I’ll eff this up and totally crash and burn.

I guess I’m sharing all of this to not only give you authentic behind the scenes glimpses into my newbie author journey but also because I feel like this emotional roller coaster can apply to other things in life too, like pursuing that lifelong dream or even crushing that short term goal. So hopefully in me sharing this today, you’ll know you’re not alone and that I do believe in you.

Yes, I’ll repeat that: I. Believe. In. You.

So, here’s to showing up even when you’re feeling those dips in that roller coaster ride because I believe just as there are the dips there will also be those glorious highs and vibrant feelings that also remind you why you’re doing the thing.

Okay, so that’s it for my random Saturday afternoon ramblings and I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this in the comments and if this resonated with you at all.

PS: now I’m about to head to the beach to watch the sunset and soak in some much needed beach therapy while listening to Calypso’s Heart audiobook. Oh and if you want to get an update on the audiobook release then I’ll be sending an update in my newsletter that’s going out this Monday. So be sure to hop on over to the link in my bio to get the newsletter in your inbox.

M.C. Solaris

❤️Author of massively epic love stories

🧜‍♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes

✨Healing thru storytelling

✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order

https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor

About The Author Reading - How Was Calypso's Heart Born

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So, I was sitting at my desk with my story outline I’d been working on for years and a brand new, blank Google Doc page and—

*cue the record scratch sound effect*

Although that may be the way many books were born, that is so not how Calypso’s Heart was born… not in the least. You see, I was never “in the closet” about writing. I didn’t write in secret at night after work (and maybe drunkenly get the courage to anonymously post short stories on some blog a time or two). I didn’t harbor my story and character ideas notebook close to my heart (or rather, in the safe at the back of said closet). Hell, writing paranormal romance stories (let alone publishing them) wasn’t even a tiny blip on my radar. Seriously! Sure, I’m an avid reader of PNR and love it but it wasn’t in the realm of my conscious mind to write PNR.

So, how exactly was Calypso’s Heart born then?

This may sound weird but the honest answer is during the January 2019 super blood moon eclipse, I literally woke up and began writing bios for my imaginary friends (AKA the characters that were suddenly in my head introducing themselves and sharing their world with me). And as soon as I started writing, I couldn’t stop. The words and scenes were just in my mind, playing out like a movie and I decided to write them down. This is how Calypso’s Heart was born. This is also how the other books in the series were born (which I’m working on publishing as soon as possible).

So, I wasn’t an “in the closet” writer taking creative writing classes at night (or any kind of writing classes, in fact) and honing my craft for years. I’m just a person who woke up one day, saw a new dream, was over the moon excited about it, and decided to just go for it. And I’m sharing this because if you’re reading this (thank you :) ) and you wake up one day with a new dream or desire, don’t be afraid to see where it takes you. Who knows what you’ll birth into the world.

M.C. Solaris

❤️Author of massively epic love stories

🧜‍♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes

✨Healing thru storytelling

✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order

https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor

About The Author Reading - Book Cover Designs and Going Against The Grain

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So, if you haven’t figured out my now… I’m sort of a rebel. I do my own thang. Go against the grain. Walk my own path. You get the picture. 

And shocker, not shocker, this also applies to all of the Orion’s Order book cover designs. Yes, all of them.. Well, books 1-4 at least. Because, yes, I’ve already seen what they’ll all look like and have since like the beginning. LOL. For books 5 and beyond, I’m not sure yet but I know, I’ll know, when I know… that’s not confusing or anything. LOL but let me explain...

Since the beginning, not only did I know but boy did people sure make it point to let me know that the book cover design for Calypso’s Heart does not match the market and is not genre appropriate.

Well, eff that. 

Not saying that market research and all of that stuff that I wish didn’t come with the territory of being a self-published author, doesn’t have it’s value and place. Because it most certainly does. (And side note, you mean there’s more to being an author than just writing the stories? LOL oh how naive I was in thinking that at one point haha ;) ).

Anyway, back to the “not genre appropriate” covers of Orion’s Order series. You see, and I’m sure you’ve actually seen, that romance covers often have people on them. And specifically for steamy romances, they have half-naked, muscley male, situations going on. And for paranormal romances, just throw in some sort of supernatural elements that tie into your story. And there you have genre appropriate covers. 

Now, I’d like to share where the cover for Calypso’s Heart (and all of the covers that I’ve seen for that matter) came from. Well, I actually don’t know where they came from-other than that crazy place inside my mind where these stories are too. But I remember the exact moment I saw the cover in my mind.

So, I was at the gym, on the stair master, doing my stepping thing and I was also on the phone with my sister… naturally, because yes, I am that lonely and awkward person in the gym on the phone. But no, I am definitely *not* that annoying person on the phone in the gym that’s loud as hell and where everyone can hear the conversation whether they want to or not.

Anyway, I digress… again… back to the cover. So, I was stepping, I was quietly talking to my sister, and I remember saying something like, “I still don’t know what the cover is going to be for Calypso’s Heart.” 

And then I kid you not, immediately this image popped into my head and then I just knew that was the book cover. I saw the golden wolf eyes. I saw the heart necklace. I saw the black background. And then I described it to my sister and wrote it down. 

Literally, didn’t make that up. That’s how the cover came to be. Well, with the help of the amazing LJ at Mayhem Cover Creations. She’s done such an amazing job putting up with my crazy ass and bringing the images in my mind to life and making them that much better with her artist’s eye and graphic design talents.

So, there you have the mini backstory of how Calypso’s Heart (and all of the book covers) came to be. 

Now, I’m curious … What are your thoughts on the cover for Calypso’s Heart? When you first saw it, did you like it? Was it meh? Was it eye-catching? Intriguing? Terrible? Not genre appropriate? LOL Whatever it is, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. 

Talk soon! :)

M.C. Solaris

❤️Author of massively epic love stories

🧜‍♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes

✨Healing thru storytelling

✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order

https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor

About The Author Reading Video - Don’t Be Afraid To Say, “Fudge The Rules!”

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In this video, I share my “secret sauce” to character development process in Calypso’s Heart.

So, what’s my “secret sauce” to character development in Calypso’s Heart?

The honest answer is... I don’t know.

Now, I’m sure that’s not exactly the answer you were looking for. And I’m also sure that’s not the “proper” way I should start off with writing this blog post. But something about me that I believe is a direct reflection in my writing style and process is that I often say, “Fudge the rules.” Okay, maybe I don’t exactly use the word for the delicious sweet treat (because why would I taint such a divine gift from the Gods? ;) ) but I think you get my point.

The thing is, I didn’t go to school to be a writer. Hell, I’ve never even taken a creative writing class or anything to do with writing classes either. The only thing I know about writing is from writing those boring as hell essays in school growing up, where I spent a ridiculous amount of time learning MLA format and that cursed reference page only to be thrown the biggest curve ball of my freaking life when in college I was told to write yet another boring essay about who in the hell even remembers or cares about but make sure it was in APA format (shout out to Purdue Online Writing Lab and lots of caffeine).

Anyway, my point is my writing process, including “character development,” is probably not the norm. I didn’t just sit down one day with a lifelong dream, too much time on my hands, and pent up creative energy, and say, “I’m going to write a paranormal romance story” and then proceed to plan the plot and strategize the storyline and characters.

In fact, I wasn’t even planning on ever being an author, let alone publishing paranormal romance (PNR). Sure, I’m an avid reader of PNR and love it but it wasn’t in the realm of my conscious mind to write PNR. Until one day during the January 2019 super blood moon eclipse, I literally woke up and began writing bios for my imaginary friends (AKA the characters that were suddenly in my head introducing themselves and sharing their world with me). And as soon as I started writing, I couldn’t stop. The words and scenes were just in my mind, playing out like a movie and I just wrote them down.

This is how Calypso’s Heart was written. This is how the characters were written. This is how the “character development” was written. (PS: This is also how Book 2 (Rhyker’s Key) and Book 3 (title not yet revealed) were written).

So, I don’t have any specific ingredients to give you as to what the “secret sauce” for the character development in Calypso’s Heart is. But what I can share is that I believe in following your own creative process and your own creative compass (that creative True North that’s inside of you and I believe is guiding you). What works best for one author, may not work best for you.

And if I may leave a parting thought to all of this, it would be to follow that True North, trust your instincts and intuition, have faith in your desires and dreams, and don’t be afraid to say, “Fudge the rules!”

M.C. Solaris

❤️Author of massively epic love stories

🧜‍♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes

✨Healing thru storytelling

✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order

https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor

About The Author Reading - What The Hell Am I Doing With My Life? ;)

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Hi, MC Solaris here, author of Calypso’s Heart, Orion’s Order book 1. And here I am in video number 2 in the About The Author Reading video series.

And I am again doubly terrified to record today’s video. Not only because duh I’m once more facing my fears of being in front of a camera but also today, I felt like sharing that my birthday is on Monday August 31st. And it’s my golden birthday! Woohoo! And you know, I’m only mildly freaking out that I’m turning 31. NBD, right?

So, as I was writing about what I wanted to share today, it kind of got a little deep and personal. But hey, what else is social media for if not to air out some of your deepest and darkest personal thoughts? Right? Right. 

Okay, well, I’m not actually going to go into the dark abyss of emo thoughts… But I am going to share some thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind considering it’s been another solar rotation in my astrological birth chart. Shout out to my fellow virgos out there.

And maybe you’ll relate to today’s video. Or maybe you once felt as I do now… Or maybe you’ll find out that I’m a little crazy and you’ll stop following me.

But, here it is….

What the hell am I doing with my life? 

Yup. That’s the big ol’ question going on in my mind lately. I’m about to be 31. I didn’t finish those last five or six college classes that would have earned me my bachelor’s degree. 

I’m not married. I don’t have any kids. I’ve been working in the same industry since I was 18. And no, my job doesn’t really align with my soul but don’t get me wrong, I am super grateful for it because it supports me and allows me to feed my addiction with ridiculously expensive organic foods and treats as well as allows me to continue to spoil my three kitty fur babies endlessly. 

Okay, so when I find my thoughts drifting that dangerous vortex of self-doubt, self-worthiness, self-limiting beliefs, and a bunch of things that essentially all tie back to fear, I try to stop that train in its tracks and flip the script. 

So, instead, I’ll answer that scary as hell question head on. What am I doing with my life? 

Well, I’m enjoying myself. I’m enjoying myself as I’m writing these stories. I’m enjoying myself as I go on my beloved beach walks. I’m enjoying myself as I spend time with my ride or die boo thang and our three kitty fur babies. And, yes, I’m enjoying myself when I overeat all of those super yummy, organic foods. 

And then I’ll just start listing all the things that I’m grateful for. All of them. From the small things, like being grateful for this morning chocolate drink situation I’ve been obsessing over lately. To the big things, like being grateful for the health of myself and my loved ones. 

And then at some point in this epic gratitude list reminder, I usually end up thinking about this Rumi quote. 

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” 

I love love love that quote so much for many reasons, but especially because it reminds me that sometimes I can have these plans and goals, but to me, what’s really underneath those, are feelings… like excitement. Happiness. Love. Joy. Peace.

So, even if I have no idea quote on quote “what the hell I’m doing with my life” on some level, I’ll know I’m on the right path when I’m following Rumi’s sage advice by allowing myself to be drawn by that strange and sometimes inexplicable pull of the things that bring me love, joy, and peace.

Even if it’s not what I thought it was going to be or how it was going to look or not even something that was on my radar. It doesn’t matter. Because what does matter is that feeling inside—that feeling of love, joy, and peace. And those things that help bring those feelings. 

Okay, so, I did warn you this was going to go a little deep and a little personal. But I wanted to share it in the chance that someone else may be feeling the same as me and maybe finding themselves tiptoeing down that vortex of negative thoughts. And if that’s the case, perhaps maybe that epic gratitude list and that seriously amazing quote from Rumi will help you as it does me.

And to that point, when I set out on this About The Author video series journey, I thought the videos would be about… oh, I don’t know… things about my books or author life. But hey, I’m listening to that strange pull inside of me and for whatever reason, it wanted me to share about this today.

Okay, so that’s it for today’s video AKA my diary entry apparently. And I want to ask you, what the hell are you doing with your life? I’m kidding.

But really, I would love to hear what you think about this video, about that Rumi quote, if you’d like more of these About The Author Reading videos. And if you have any particular questions or topics.

Okay, I can’t wait to chat with you! :) 

M.C. Solaris

❤️Author of massively epic love stories

🧜‍♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes

✨Healing thru storytelling

✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order

https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor

About The Author Reading - Feeling The Fear And Doing It Anyway

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Hi, MC Solaris here, author of Calypso’s Heart, Orion’s Order book 1. And I’m thinking about starting a video series that I’ll call an About The Author Reading.

To kick this whole thing off, I thought I’d share a fear of mine: this... as in, being in front of a camera, especially a video camera.... AKA exactly what I’m doing right now.

FaceTime. Zoom. Speeches. Or being that person randomly called on in class during that anxiety-inducing Popcorn Reading activity. You name it, and I freeze up like a deer in headlights and turn into the most awkward turtle ever lol.

Okay, so what I’m getting at is this, I’m not an actress who’s trained to be in front of a camera... a camera I swear that is like a giant eyeball staring at me lol

But what I do feel comes naturally to me is writing...

So, naturally, I wrote down what I’d like to share today. And now you know why I’m reading from these notes like my life depends on it. And you’ll likely see me reading from my notes in all of my videos.... hence me calling this video series an About The Author “Reading.”

At this point, you may be wondering why am I doing this video series then?

Because I wanted to.

It seems counterintuitive. But sometimes the things you want to do are also things that can be scary to do.

So, I knew I wanted to do these videos. I knew I wanted you to get to know me a little bit more. And hopefully, in return, I’ll be able to get to know you too.

But every time I thought about recording a video, I clammed up.

Then I asked myself, is there anything I can do to help make me more comfortable when doing these videos?

And the answer just sort of came to me. Writing. Writing down what I’d like to share and then reading it like it’s straight up story time and I’m reading an excerpt from a book.

Did it absolve the fear completely?

No. My racing heart and sweaty self are proof of that lol. But it did bring the fear down to a manageable level, to a point where I’m like, okay, I can do this. I can read what I wrote and hopefully not make a fool of myself and end up going viral with a caption that says, “Woman Who Was A Fainting Goat In Her Past Life.”

Okay, to wrap this up, I want to ask you,

Where in your life are you holding back from doing something you want to do because of fear?

Is there anything you can do to help feel more comfortable when doing that thing?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments (or even in my inbox if leaving the comment is too scary... Miss Major Introvert over here gets that one completely lol although, seeming as this video is all about facing your fears like we’re Harry Potter facing the boggart, I’d encourage you to drop a comment. Besides, there may someone else who watches this and then reads your comment and feels the same way as you and then who knows, you may even become like internet BFFs or something lol.)

Oh, and, let me know if you’d like more of these About The Author Reading videos And if you have any particular questions or topics.

Okay, I can’t wait to chat with you! :)

M.C. Solaris

❤️Author of massively epic love stories

🧜‍♀️Creator of emotionally satisfying fantasy escapes

✨Healing thru storytelling

✍️ Channeler of Orion’s Order

https://linktr.ee/mcsolarisauthor